Pin Dudeism: Joining The Pin Dudeist Order

Friday, June 26, 2009

Joining The Pin Dudeist Order

Pin Dudeist Monk...pre da-pin...

"So how do I join the Pin Dudeist Order, man?"...you may wonder...or not...whatever...

First...get yourself ordained as a Dudeist Priest (click Dudeism link in sidebar). Then...

Method 1. Assume the "Un-Occupied, Un-Employed" (see sidebar) posture for ten minutes in a public place, then tell somebody what happened. (Recommended. This can also make you an evangelical Dudeist, so be careful.)

Method 2. While actively disregarding Method 1....pour and sip a white Russian...abide...

Method 3. While actively disregarding Method 1. and Method 2....just abide...

Or...pause...then...

...you mutter intensly to yourself... "You can't tell me to abide as a condition of joining some fucking Order, you fuck...abiding is just abiding...you can't turn it on and off like a fucking blender!..."

Welcome to The Pin Dudeist Order...you may proceed to the gardens (see below).

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Tabloid Haiku

Dudeism has “The Big Lebowski Haikutomatic” which generates haiku from lines in the movie.

Pin Dudeism has Tabloid Haiku, which creates haiku from the “real” world…i.e. from tabloid headlines.

To wit…

Fat-sucking vampires
claim two hundred and fifty
nine lives in Lima.

Cannibal chief eats
mail order brides in New Guinea.
Cops launch man-hunt.

Istanbul business
tycoon is killed by flying
carpet. Son observes.

Fisherman uses
Barbie Doll as bass lure. “Drives
the big ones crazy.”

Man knocks himself out with boomerang.
Sues himself.
Wins three hundred K.

Cincinnati corpse
bursts into flames and burns
antique hearse in strange blaze.

Corpse checkmates two morgue
attendants in Havana.
“Miguel not dead yet!”

Weirdo breaks into
gal’s apartments to brush their
teeth. Complaints increase.

1918 news
clipping shows time traveler
with cellular phone.

Man posing as
alien conned gals into free
trip to home planet.

Crippled man arrested
for drunk driving
in his wheelchair in Hamburg.

Human skunk to wed
man with no nose!
Stinking coed has rare disease.

Neighbors call cops on staggering,
beer-guzzling, chain smoking three
year old.

UN-OCCUPIED, UN-EMPLOYED: Don't Just Do Something! Stand There!

In 1994 Bernard McGrane published a book entitled “The Un-TV and the 10MPH Car, Experiments in Personal Freedom and Everyday Life” that Dudeists, in general, and Pin Dudeists, in particular, should check out the next time you feel like kicking back with a good read. In it he describes some strange and very cool experiments that he has his students fool around with that have some entertaining things to say about this whole carnival side show we find ourselves mixed up in.

In the first experiment…Un-Occupied, Un-Employed: Don’t Just Do Something! Stand There!…he has them “do nothing, be un-occupied and un-employed for ten minutes and see what you can see”. This was to be done in a relatively busy public place and was to be taken quite literally…they were to stand there at semi-attention, eyes not wandering about, for a full ten minutes. They were not allowed to pretend they were waiting for someone, if asked…that would be “doing waiting”…they were not allowed to pretend they were sightseeing or just relaxing…that would be “doing sightseeing” or “doing relaxing”, etc. They were to do this for the full ten minutes….the time requirement was strict. As McGrane says…”I looked at them a little like a cross between a meditator and a zombie”.

Try this…have some friends try it…but not in a group…and see what happens. Get McGrane’s book if you can…out of print but available all over the net…and check out other people’s experiences.

Doing nothing in this way is worth the effort, man…what a trip!

Pin Dudeism