"So how do I join the Pin Dudeist Order, man?"...you may wonder...or not...whatever...
First...get yourself ordained as a Dudeist Priest (click Dudeism link in sidebar). Then...
Method 1. Assume the "Un-Occupied, Un-Employed" (see sidebar) posture for ten minutes in a public place, then tell somebody what happened. (Recommended. This can also make you an evangelical Dudeist, so be careful.)
Method 2. While actively disregarding Method 1....pour and sip a white Russian...abide...
Method 3. While actively disregarding Method 1. and Method 2....just abide...
Or...pause...then...
...you mutter intensly to yourself... "You can't tell me to abide as a condition of joining some fucking Order, you fuck...abiding is just abiding...you can't turn it on and off like a fucking blender!..."
Welcome to The Pin Dudeist Order...you may proceed to the gardens (see below).
Zen Buddhists sit zazen. Pin Dudeists stand da-pin.
What is standing da-pin, you may ask. Da-pin is the position you are in...when bowling...at the moment the ball has been released. If you freeze in this position after releasing the ball, you are standing da-pin.
Contemporary da-pin master
Standing da-pin for any length of time can get tedious, man, and result in cramping...but a true Pin Duder can hold the position for a long time...which may result in pintori or, better yet, the elusive STRIKE! (see "What Is Pin Dudeism" post below) Groups of Pin Dudeists standing da-pin attract considerable attention down at the local sports center...
Pin Dudeism is to Dudeism (The Church Of The Latter-Day Dude...see link below) as Zen Buddhism is to Buddhism.
The "Pin" in Pin Dudeism is a bowling pin, of course, which according to Pin Dudeists, points to the true nature of reality, and the repeated meditation upon which can result in a STRIKE!...Pintori...Enlightenment...
Like Zen, Pin Dudeism provides the seeker with koan-like riddles known as Gutters, which seem to lead away from the STRIKE but, paradoxically, are the most direct way to realization.
PINTORI
A few Gutters for your amusement...
"You and the ball are not two...how do you roll?"
"How do you not release the ball just before it touches the wood?"
"Bowling needs a blend of skill, focus, cool and absolute passion and conviction.
With bowling, as with all highly skilled sports, the more you play the better you get, but…attitude and focus are what separate the merely good from the master bowlers.
The ability to block out distractions and exist only in the now is crucial to any sports performance especially when accuracy and keeping nerve are vital.
Don't get distracted by imagined outcome - be the process
You may find sometimes you lose your cool when bowling or get caught up in the outcome rather than process.
Outcome is all about how things will be - whether you lose or win, how you seem to others, or whether you're going to get your best score. Process is about losing all that and becoming totally absorbed in the reality of the immediate moment. Bowling is all about process and flow. Outcome comes later when you enjoy the winning.
The Zen archers of ancient Japan felt no disconnection between themselves, their arrow and their target. So missing felt impossible, as how can an arrow which is also a target miss itself? Look at things this way...you'll begin to feel as physical connection with the pins."
Dudeism has “The Big Lebowski Haikutomatic” which generates haiku from lines in the movie.
Pin Dudeism has Tabloid Haiku, which creates haiku from the “real” world…i.e. from tabloid headlines.
To wit…
Fat-sucking vampires claim two hundred and fifty nine lives in Lima.
Cannibal chief eats mail order brides in New Guinea. Cops launch man-hunt.
Istanbul business tycoon is killed by flying carpet. Son observes.
Fisherman uses Barbie Doll as bass lure. “Drives the big ones crazy.”
Man knocks himself out with boomerang. Sues himself. Wins three hundred K.
Cincinnati corpse bursts into flames and burns antique hearse in strange blaze.
Corpse checkmates two morgue attendants in Havana. “Miguel not dead yet!”
Weirdo breaks into gal’s apartments to brush their teeth. Complaints increase.
1918 news clipping shows time traveler with cellular phone.
Man posing as alien conned gals into free trip to home planet.
Crippled man arrested for drunk driving in his wheelchair in Hamburg.
Human skunk to wed man with no nose! Stinking coed has rare disease.
Neighbors call cops on staggering, beer-guzzling, chain smoking three year old.
UN-OCCUPIED, UN-EMPLOYED: Don't Just Do Something! Stand There!
In 1994 Bernard McGrane published a book entitled “The Un-TV and the 10MPH Car, Experiments in Personal Freedom and Everyday Life” that Dudeists, in general, and Pin Dudeists, in particular, should check out the next time you feel like kicking back with a good read. In it he describes some strange and very cool experiments that he has his students fool around with that have some entertaining things to say about this whole carnival side show we find ourselves mixed up in.
In the first experiment…Un-Occupied, Un-Employed: Don’t Just Do Something! Stand There!…he has them “do nothing, be un-occupied and un-employed for ten minutes and see what you can see”. This was to be done in a relatively busy public place and was to be taken quite literally…they were to stand there at semi-attention, eyes not wandering about, for a full ten minutes. They were not allowed to pretend they were waiting for someone, if asked…that would be “doing waiting”…they were not allowed to pretend they were sightseeing or just relaxing…that would be “doing sightseeing” or “doing relaxing”, etc. They were to do this for the full ten minutes….the time requirement was strict. As McGrane says…”I looked at them a little like a cross between a meditator and a zombie”.
Try this…have some friends try it…but not in a group…and see what happens. Get McGrane’s book if you can…out of print but available all over the net…and check out other people’s experiences.
Doing nothing in this way is worth the effort, man…what a trip!
